With all this talk about 40k, it can be easy to forget that I'm also partial to Warhammer, and just like 40k I had a great many plans for Warhammer armies that will most likely never reach the table now. I desired an army of pretty much every game faction in Warhammer except maybe Ogres, and unfortunately GW stopped selling all the Warhammer models I want some time ago.
But that doesn't stop me from talking about some of the most Halloween Warhammer armies I wanted as a shameless tie-in for International Goth Month.
Now quite often when we talk about Halloween we talk about the old superficial things like spooky monster mashes and candy. But, there is another side to Halloween. A side that happens after hours just for grown-ups who are still young at heart. It tends to be less visible in the public mind, but it is always there, just below the surface in the slinkiest of outfits....
.... and it's this aspect of Halloween that is embodied by this next army list.
Nymphomaniac Fantasia - Millitant's Cult of Pleasure
Dark Elves have for some time been one of my top 3 favourite evil armies in Warhammer. I first got curious about them after seeing a White Dwarf battle report featuring a siege game between them and some Bretonnians with Wood Elf allies and thought the Hydras were pretty cool and the whole 'Tolkien Elves but bad' thing was kind of neat. While they never quite managed to break into the shortlist of frontrunners for my first Warhammer army, my interest in them did steadily simmer away in the background.
Within the Dark Elves themselves I've always been drawn to the Khainite elements in particular, because I just can't pass up a horde of cocaine-fueled murder vixens and the models are ace, especially the awe inspiring Cauldron of Blood from the 6th edition release.
So between that and Slaanesh being my favourite single Chaos God it's a pretty natural fit that the Dark Elf Cult of Pleasure from Storm of Chaos would be my second favourite Chaos army in Warhammer.
Unfortunately it was not until recently that I was really able to cement down what I wanted the army to be like, which means its backstory and character lore is almost completely unfiormed, but if I had the models it would look something like this:
The Cult of Pleasure
Colours: Lots of blacks on clothing with electric blue and purple accents. Standard silver-metalic weapons. Pale tones for skin.
This Cult of Pleasure is born from the fallout of the tangled obsessive love dodecahedron between the characters in my related planned Dark Elf army. Once the Sorceresses become jilted a few too many times they break off and seek revenge with Morathi's uprising.
Lords
High Sorceress: Level 4 High Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh, Tome of Furion, Crystal of Midnight, Crown of Black Iron and Blade of Spite, mounted on a Steed of Slaanesh - 420 pts
High Sorceress: Level 4 High Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh, Soulstone, Black Amulet and Sword of Battle - 380 pts
High Sorceress: Level 4 High Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh, Black Staff, Heart-stone of Darkness and Crimson Death - 380 pts
Heroes
Sorceress: Level 2 Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh, Darkstar Cloak and Seal of Ghrond - 195 pts
Sorceress: Level 2 Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh and Wand of the Kharaidon - 190 pts
Sorceress: Level 2 Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh and Staff of Sorcery - 200 pts
Sorceress: Level 2 Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh and Rubric of Dark Dimensions - 200 pts
Sorceress: Level 2 Sorceress with Mark of Slaanesh and Ring of Darkness - 195 pts
Core
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, Standard Bearer with Soul Shadows Standard, 22 Devoted of Slaanesh with Musician - 378 pts
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, Standard Bearer with Banner of Murder, 22 Devoted of Slaanesh with Musician - 373 pts
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, Standard Bearer with Standard of Slaughter, 22 Devoted of Slaanesh with Musician - 363 pts
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, 23 Devoted of Slaanesh with Full Command - 328 pts
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, 23 Devoted of Slaanesh with Full Command - 328 pts
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, 23 Devoted of Slaanesh with Full Command - 328 pts
Devoted of Slaanesh: Mistress with Speed of Slaanesh, 23 Devoted of Slaanesh with Full Command - 328 pts
Special
Mounted Daemonettes: 12 Mounted Daemonettes - 360 pts
Mounted Daemonettes: 12 Mounted Daemonettes - 360 pts
Rare
Reaper Bolt Thrower Battery: 2 Reaper Bolt Throwers with Mark of Slaanesh - 210 pts
Reaper Bolt Thrower Battery: 2 Reaper Bolt Throwers with Mark of Slaanesh - 210 pts
Reaper Bolt Thrower Battery: 2 Reaper Bolt Throwers with Mark of Slaanesh - 210 pts
Spoils
Captive Maiden Princess - 1 bound captive maiden princess of exceptional beauty, charm and kindness - 64 pts
TOTAL: 6000 pts
This is not a subtle list.
The entire army is of course centred around no less than seven full regiments of Devoted of Slaanesh, one for each mortal sin and not at all because I started aiming for 6 and then needed an extra Core unit once I broke the 5000 point threshold. Now, normally infantry units in Warhammer are at their best in units of 20 or 25 so that they can form into nice even symmetrical ranks of 5 models, but Slaanesh's sacred number is 6 so these units needed to be in multiples of that.
The solution is in units of 24 with organic character support. Normally this is also something unwise since units generally need to be capable of fully independent action in order to properly function in the chaos of the battlefield, but I had enough spare points and character slots floating around to bring in some extra villainesses to lead them.
Speaking of, the army is led by a trio of High Sorceresses, because when it comes to magical leadership nothing beats a good trinity of mages. If it's good enough for Charmed then it's good enough for me here. They are backed up by 5 regular Sorceresses with an array of powerful magic items to create what is probably the single most magic-heavy Warhammer army I will ever devise.
Acting in support are two healthy units of mounted Daemonettes for a manoeuvre element and for some shooting cover six Reaper Bolt Throwers - the only mechanical compromise to the all-female all-nude murder orgy, and you damn well better believe they're getting some alternate crew figures to conform to the theme. Probably adapted from the Cauldron of Blood crew figures.
Finally all this leaves me with just enough points left over for a captive princess to have some fun corrupting.
And that's what I would do with a glut of 2000s Dark Elf and Daemonette models. If you wish to see this army on the tabletop then you are welcome to donate any NIB 2002-2004 Witch-Elf, Mounted Daemonette, Sorceress, Steed of Slaanesh, Cauldron of Blood or Reaper Bolt Thrower models to me free of charge.
Otherwise come back next week for the final spooky Halloween list for International Goth Month...
Good grief, man.
ReplyDeleteSix Reaper Bolt Throwers? 22 magic levels on the table? Seven identical units? I believe, sir, that a cold-hearted optimiser lurks within you, thwarted only by the overlarge units of Mounted Daemonettes and the one Sorceress on an arrow magnet (the Steed is the monstrous one, right? and the Mount is the hell-ostrich the Daemonettes are on?).
I like how this is almost the opposite of how I'd take the proceedings; my Cult would be a Sorceress ambassador, her Anointed consort and attendant retinue (modest), with the bulk of the line troops being of a rather more demoniac disposition.
Hey fair's fair, it's really only 4 identical line units and that's only because I ran out of magic banners that the rules would let me give them. It actually should probably be 3 since I completely forgot that the War Banner is a thing.
DeleteIt has been known to happen that every hundred thousand years or so the Stormwind planets align and the aesthetic that speaks to me most just happens to be paired with rock hard brutal game mechanics.
It's most notable in my ill-fated flirtation with Battletech, where the mechs I love the look of the most coincidentally all happen to have extremely hardcore stat-lines. Just as I cannot help it if FASA/CGL decided to give all my beloved Gunships On Legs the best stat profiles, I cannot help it here that an army comprised entirely of angry immodest murder-vixens happens to conform to what the internet thinks is gud in Warhammer.
Besides, how can it possibly be that optimal when it sinks so much into magic that will invariably fail to cast and it doesn't even have a Battle Standard to give it adequate command and control. Gaping point of failure right there. And don't get me started on the non-existent scouting and reconnaissance capabilities.
(and yes according to my notes the Steed is the throbbing titty-snake on a big base and not the hell-ostrich)
That Cult actually sounds pretty cool too, and is something of a counterpart in some ways, trading Elf murder-vixens for Daemon ones. The main difference comes in the characters and supporting units being a little diverse which is fair enough since you're probably not as laser-focused on the particular specific visual bit that I am here.