A Dark Horse

 Do I start a New Army for the New Year? 

The answer is of course no, not at all. I already started one last year and 2024 is going to be absolutely packed with building up three existing armies already as it is even under ideal circumstances. A fourth one just is not even remotely feasible unless it just happens to fall out of the sky into my lap fully formed and painted and everything. 

But the new year does nonetheless bring with it an unforeseen opportunity. 

If you don't know, Games Workshop is releasing a new game in 2024 called The Old World that re-uses some of the models from Warhammer. Now, the TOW game itself is a total non-starter. I've already seen enough of its rules previewed to know that it will bring me no joy and trying to force myself to like it is only going to end in tears at best and literal actual real gasoline fire at worst. I tried to force myself to enjoy NuGW stuff  for 16 years and it left me emotionally broken. I won't make that same mistake twice. 

My one big dream for The Old World was that it might drain the swamp of tourneycorns and mathletes that's currently killing 6th edition Warhammer all over again, drawing them away with the promise of actual dynamic metas for them to solve and leaving 6th edition Warhammer once again a beautiful virgin paradise to be reclaimed by roleplayers and lore based players in peace. But sadly GW couldn't even get that part right and TOW doesn't even have the good common decency to share compatible base sizes with 6th edition Warhammer, so I still have to watch my favourite fantasy tabletop game die a death all over again as the Sour Prudes continue to optimise all the fun and joy out of it. Again. Forever. 

But a funny thing has happened. For the second time in six years, GW has caught me off guard with a silver lining I never saw coming, which is the starter boxes for this new game they're releasing. These starter boxes appear to be built on the same model as Battlefront's, and contain what appears to be a good amount of the beautiful 2000s era sculpts that I so desperately crave. I was already eyeing up the Bretonnian one as a possible substitute for hunting down 2010 Battalion boxes online, but honestly that one is actually a rather sad let-down. The convenient 12 Knights' worth of sprue is fantastic, but... well... the thing is the box itself is comprised mostly of Peasants, except that it has an idiotic number of peasant models that leaves it infuriatingly just 4 models short of both Men-at-arms and Peasant Bowmen, each, and.. honestly it's Knights that I really need more of, not Peasants (I'll get more than enough of them from any 2010 Battalion boxes and 2003 Army boxes I manage to find), and frankly I'm probably going to be be better served just picking up a couple of individual Bretonnian Knight boxes instead, especially if they get repackaged as 12 models to a box. 

But where things get REALLY interesting is the other starter box GW is releasing, the Tomb Kings one. 

See like the Bretonnian starter box, the Tomb Kings one is comprised mostly of what appears to be beautiful authentic 6th edition Tomb King sculpts. But unlike the Bretonnian starter box, this one actually has sensible model numbers that produce nice even self-contained units. Quite a lot of them, in fact. 

And I have long desired a Tomb Kings army (I have of course long desired pretty much every 6th edition Warhammer army except Chaos Hordes and Ogre Kingdoms, and even then I've recently desired that first one). Like many cis-het boys I went through a somewhat prominent Ancient Egypt phase growing up, although far more important than that was the Rachel Weisz phase I went through during puberty, which irrevocably changed me forever and has left me with a weakness for nubile shy charmingly awkward brunette bookworms ever since. 

But most importantly of all, in 2010 I discovered this band called Nightwish, which had set my soul to music and continues to maintain a direct line to my heart of hearts to this day (well, most of the time at least). And out of all their numbers that I spent 1100 hours listening to in high school, one of the ones I played over and over most was this little banger called Sahara. 

And just like how... pretty much all of Nightwish's other tracks birthed my real interest in traditional Europeanesque fantasy worlds, this gorgeous little song triggered a huge wave of mania over hotter, dryer, palm tree.. ee..er fantasy settings. This mostly resulted in an obsession to one day have a magnificent army of Araby models for Warmaster, but the Tomb King faction for Warhammer was also able to piggy-back on the same fascination and get a sizeable boost of my attention. 

(And I was just in time for the Katy Perry boom, and my Katy Perry phase managed to survive my transition to melodramatic orchestral heavy metal, which didn't hurt either) 

Now, the thing is, my ideal prospective Tomb Kings army looks something like this: 

The Grand Eternal Legion of Kakapophis The Defiant, Most Glorious Eagle King of Hamnuptra 

Colours: Bone whites for Skeletons, Black Marble for Constructs, attire either in traditional studio blue and gold or that green and gold combo from the army book, or very possibly both because I kind of like the idea of this army being an alliance of two different Nehekaran city-kingdoms. 

One of the most ancient dynasties of all Nehekara, the lost kingdom of Hamnuptra was legendary for never being conquered by Settra the Imperishable. Settra is recorded to have launched no less than 13 separate campaigns to bring Hamnuptra to heel, his armies being repulsed every time, until at last the reigning king Kakapophis brought Hamnuptra into the fold amicably after Khemri finally opened diplomatic channels, and negotiated a settlement that was most favourable to Hamnuptra granting great autonomy as a partner kingdom of Khemri. 

The city of Hamnuptra was widely renowned for its spectacular hanging gardens, originally constructed as a gift for queen Khatiperria and said to be the most beautiful sight in all of Nehekara until they were destroyed by Nagash's sorcery. 

Lords 

Glorious King Kakapophis The Defiant: Tomb King with light armour, Blade of Setep, Cloak of The Dunes, Shield of Ptra and Talisman of Protection - 273 pts 

Loyal Liche High Priest: Liche High Priest with Serpent Staff, Neferra's Plaques of Mighty Incantations, Collar of Shapesh and Vambraces of The Sun, mounted on a Skeletal Steed - 352 pts

Wise Liche High Priest: Liche High Priest with Staff of Mastery and Blue Khepra mounted on a Skeletal Steeed - 337 pts

Heroes 

Prince of The Stone Scorpion: Tomb Prince with shield, Scorpion Armour and Biting Blade - 152 pts

Prince Xhibt the Bold: Tomb Prince with spear, light armour and Shield, mounted on a Chariot with Golden Eye of Rah-Nutt and Chariot of Fire - 201 pts 

Honourable Prince: Tomb Prince with Great Weapon, Light Armour, Shield and Amulet of Pha-Stah - 148 pts 

Deadly Prince: Tomb Prince with Light Armour, Shield and The Blade of Mourning - 154 pts 

Scary Prince: Tomb Prince with Flail, Light Armour, Shield and Death Mask of Kharnut - 141 pts

Faithful Icon Bearer: Icon Bearer with Standard of The Sands - 142 pts

Keeper of The Casket: Liche Priest with Golden Ankhra and Casket of Souls - 325 pts

Keeper of The Plagues: Liche Priest with Staff of Ravening, mounted on Skeletal Steed - 168 pts 

Cunning Liche Priest: Liche Priest with Hieratic Jar and Brooch of The Great Desert, mounted on Skeletal Steed - 173 pts 

Humble Liche Priest: Liche Priest with Staff of Sorcery, mounted on Skeletal Steed - 173 pts

Core 

Skeleton Legion: 20 Skeleton Warriors with hand weapons, shields, light armour, Full Command and Standard of The Cursing Word - 230 pts

Skeleton Legion: 20 Skeleton Warriors with hand weapons, shields, light armour and Full Command - 205 pts 

Skeleton Legion: 20 Skeleton Warriors with spears, shields, light armour and Full Command - 225 pts

Skeleton Legion: 20 Skeleton Warriors with spears, shields, light armour and Full Command - 225 pts

Skeleton Legion: 16 Skeleton Warriors with bows, light armour and Full Command - 169 pts

Skeleton Legion: 16 Skeleton Warriors with bows, light armour and Full Command - 169 pts

Skeleton Legion: 16 Skeleton Warriors with bows, light armour and Full Command - 169 pts

Skeleton Legion: 16 Skeleton Warriors with bows, light armour and Full Command - 169 pts

Skeleton Riders: 16 Skeleton Heavy Horsemen with Full Command and Banner of The Undying Legion - 316 pts

Skeleton Riders: 5 Skeleton Light Horsemen with Full Command - 105 pts

Skeleton Riders: 5 Skeleton Light Horsemen with Full Command - 105 pts

Skeleton Riders: 5 Skeleton Light Horsemen with Full Command - 105 pts 

Skeleton Riders: 5 Skeleton Light Horsemen with Full Command - 105 pts 

Skeleton Riders: 5 Skeleton Light Horsemen with Full Command - 105 pts

Ravening Swarms: 5 Tomb Swarm bases - 225 pts

Chariot Squadron: 6 Chariots with Full Command and Icon of The Sacred Eye - 340 pts

Special 

Tomb Guardians: 20 Tomb Guard with Full Command and Mirage Standard - 310 pts

Tomb Guardians: 20 Tomb Guard with Full Command and Icon of Rakaph - 310 pts

Legion of The Gods: 10 Ushabti - 650 pts

Legion of The Gods: 10 Ushabti - 650 pts

Black Vultures: 10 Carrion - 240 pts

Death on Swift Wings: 10 Carrion - 240 pts

The Keeper: Tomb Scorpion - 85 pts

The Sentinel: Tomb Scorpion - 85 pts

Rare

Breaker of Cities: Screaming Skull Catapult with Skulls of The Foe - 110 pts

Breaker of Strongholds: Screaming Skull Catapult with Skulls of The Foe - 110 pts

Breaker of Legions: Bone Giant - 220 pts

The Forbidden One: Bone Giant - 220 pts

Spoils

Captive Damsel: Beautiful wise Librarian with distant Nehekaran ancestry - 300 pts

Minions 

Groveling Thief: Groveling weasley cutthroat of ill repute with talent for getting into the right place at the right time (or the wrong place at the wrong time, depending on your point of view) - 200 pts

Defences 

Scorpion Trap: Cunningly hidden and activated secret chute that leads to pit of deadly venomous scorpions - 100 pts 

Snake Trap: Cunningly hidden and activated secret chute that leads to pit of deadly venomous asps (very dangerous!) - 100 pts 

Mirage: Uncanny trick of the light that renders a stronghold almost invisible from afar - 100 pts 

Sand Trap: Cunningly hidden and activated series of chutes and resevoirs that fill entire stronghold with sand - 100 pts 

Boulder Trap: Cunningly hidden and activated series of guidelines that direct massive boulder to crush intruders - 100 pts 

TOTAL: 10000 pts 

This does put the army at 2000 pts over the regular 8000 point game size for 6th edition Warhammer, but when the entire army can be completely hard-countered by a combination of two Dogs of War options available to everyone except Bretonnians, a few extra points seems like an acceptable handicap. 

Remember when I said I wanted no Skeletons at all in any Vampire Counts army I made? Well this is where all those Skeletons went. The Tomb King army is custom built for hordes of skeletons, and that's exactly what I'm leaning into here, backed up by plenty of giant statue monsters in support because the giant statue monsters are easily the coolest part of the Tomb Kings army alongside the skeleton legions. 

On the other hand, the army includes pretty much no chariots. This is partially because I've just never really found the chariots all that appealing, and they're one of my less favoured Warhammer units in general. But it is also because I am increasingly becoming obsessed with the idea that this particular Tomb King dynasty is in fact older than Settra's, and that they were actually around to see men domesticate horses for the first time ever, and that they did in fact witness the first ever riding and harnessing of horses for war and... 

... concluded that this whole chariot thing was a dead-end fad that would never catch on. 

And then they beat Settra's chariot forces a bunch of times without using any themselves, which seemed to confirm that chariots were in fact a dead-end and a waste of time, so they invested the resources for them into building up great libraries, beautiful hanging gardens and giant statue monsters instead. 

And then they all passed away of various natural causes before they could ever see themselves proven otherwise. 

And then they reawakened thousands of years later and were utterly baffled at why on earth these chariot things were suddenly everywhere in Nehekara now. And what the HELL happened to their hanging gardens! 

The one exception of course being the dynamic Prince Xhibt, a renowned patron of the sciences and lover of all things technological, who took Hamnuptra's experimental chariot force under his wing as a pet project. 

But I digress. 

See, that army list up there.... it's.... not that far off from two of those big Tomb King starter boxes and a few metal models. Well OK a lot of metal models, but two of those starter boxes would provide pretty much all of the core units for it, and when necessary they could even transform into a Vanilla Pumpkin Spice Latte Lahmian army if paired with the modest scattering of Vampire Counts stuff I'm slowly accumulating. 

Especially if I can come into a few extra Skeleton Horsemen sprues. And fleecing off the character models from the starter boxes - which I have no use or taste for - will help subsidise the costs somewhat. 

It would of course require me to figure out a supply of 20mm square bases for all those foot soldiers, but that's not impossible to do. 

And of course the whole thing would only really be an option once I've settled the not insignificant trade deficit I'm raking up. But there is a plan for that. 

So the question is, do I pull the trigger? 

Do I wanna play with magic? And if so, am I really ready for a perfect storm? 

Because if I do, there's no going back...