Agent of The Swarm

 The number of 40k armies I have always wanted is vast. There are almost no 40k game factions that I have never truly wanted at any point. Unfortunately, I am not made of money, capitalism is still ruining lives and and GW keeps discontinuing all the models I want. This means that realistically most of those model armies will never reach the tabletop. 

But it doesn't mean I can't write about them. 

Most of those army projects already exist in lore form if not as concrete models, but since list talking is apparently what makes a blog popular it seemed like it might be an idea to document them for posterity. And since we are now in International Goth Month I thought I'd start with a selection of the spookiest collections of fiends and monsters I conceived of. Starting with a swarm of everyone's favourite space monsters in 40k. 

Note that since these are all armies that have yet to be put into model form, a lot of their unit and character names remain under construction. 

Hive Fleet Jabberwock - Militant's Tyranids 

My first contact with Aliens came when I was around 6 years old. I was at the local library looking over the comic books display there, and one of the titles on the shelf was a meaty looking book called Aliens: Female War. My 6 year old toxic masculinity programmed brain wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole 'Female War' part, but it did certainly like some good space aliens, and I was immediately drawn to the creepy insectoid head leering out of a sickly green cocoon. 

The art that changed how I thought about space monsters forever

Now, my parents of course stubbornly refused to actually issue the comic book for me, so for some time I only had the cover artwork to go on, but I was already running wild with the possibilities of black insectoid space monsters with big leering fang-lined maws. 

About a year later however one of the TV stations decided to air the director's cut (as God and James Cameron intended) of Aliens. This time I was somehow able to get my parents to relent, and they captured the thing on VHS, and I proceeded to watch the hell out of that video tape for many many years. Much to my parents' astonishment, the first time I watched it I slept soundly and reported the next morning that it had left me completely unfazed. Which was true save for the fact that my head was now racing with cool black insectoid space monsters and action heroes blasting them to kingdom come. 

A while later I was finally able to get my hands on the Female War comic and my love affair with the Alien franchise was sealed. 

Then when I was around 9 or so I also discovered Starcraft and proceeded to play the hell out of that for many many years. Oh and I also spent many Saturday mornings in between all that watching the Starship Troopers cartoon series. 

So I have a bit of a history with space bugs. 

This in turn meant I was gobsmacked by the Winged Hive Tyrant Forgeworld released for 3rd edition 40k, because the only thing cooler than an Alien Queen was an Alien Queen with an acid gun that could fly. This was my first real introduction to the Tyranids in 40k, and I have deeply loved the beautiful 2001 Tyranid model range ever since. 

If I were to ever come into enough of the 2001 Tyranid sculpts, however, the result would look something like this: 

Hive Fleet Jabberwock 

Colours: Charcoal greys and blacks, cold grey-white claws/teeth, vivid mustard-green ichor. Secreted resin bleeding into landscape on bases. 

Arriving in the wake of Hive Fleet Kraken, Hive Fleet Jabberwock is a particularly fiendish and horrifying swarm that specialises in perverting and corrupting the natural ecosystems of prey worlds, weaponising the very habitat of prey species against them. Extensive infiltration of local fauna and flora by vanguard spores begins long before the first Hive Ships enter the system, and natural water systems are heavily saturated with hypertrophic enzymes. Not only does this fatally undermine the defence efforts of the planet's inhabitants, it also ensures a particularly rich feast of biomass afterwards. 

Thus far Hive Fleet Jabberwock's main efforts have been halted by the Tau Empire, which scattered the main body of the Hive Fleet at the pivotal battle of Doran'cha. But not only has this scattered splinter fleets across the Eastern Fringe, observations of Tyranid activity indicate there may be additional waves of Hive Fleet Jabberwock that remain unaccounted for... 

HQ 

Hive Tyrant: Hive Tyrant with Scything Talons, Rending Claws, Flesh Hooks, Implant Attack, Catalyst and Warp Blast - 142 pts 

Tyrant Guard Brood: 3 Tyrant Guards with Flesh Hooks and Implant Attacks - 156 pts 

Hive Tyrant: Hive Tyrant with Venom Cannon, Scything Talons, Flesh Hooks, Implant Attack, Catalyst and Warp Field - 183 pts 

Tyrant Guard Brood: 3 Tyrant Guards with Flesh Hooks and Implant Attacks - 156 pts 

Elites 

Hunter Slayers: 3 Lictors - 240 pts

Warrior Brood: 1 Tyranid Warrior with Venom Cannon, Scything Talons, Flesh Hooks and Implant Attack, 2 Tyranid Warriors with Deathspitters, Scything Talons, Flesh Hooks and Implant Attacks, 6 Tyranid Warriors with Scything Talons, Rending Claws, Flesh Hooks and Implant Attacks - 337 pts 

Warrior Brood: 1 Tyranid Warrior with Venom Cannon, Scything Talons, Implant Attack and Extended Carapace, 2 Tyranid Warriors with Deathspitters, Scything Talons, Implant Attack and Extended Carapace, 6 Tyranid Warriors with Scything Talons, Rending Claws, Implant Attacks and Extended Carapace - 355 pts

Troops 

Devouring One Species: Leaping Gaunt with Adrenal Glands (Weapon Skill), Toxin Sacs, Implant Attack and Scything Talons - 14 pts 

Shredder Swarm Species: Ripper Swarm with Toxin Sacs and Adrenal Glands (Initiative) - 15 pts

Devouring One Brood: 2 Devouring Ones with Acid Blood, 30 Devouring Ones - 468 pts 

Devouring One Brood: 2 Devouring Ones with Acid Blood, 30 Devouring Ones - 468 pts 

Devouring One Brood: 2 Devouring Ones with Acid Blood, 30 Devouring Ones - 468 pts 

Devouring One Brood: 2 Devouring Ones with Acid Blood, 30 Devouring Ones - 468 pts 

Shredder Ripper Swarm: 10 Shredder Bases - 150 pts 

Shredder Ripper Swarm: 10 Shredder Bases - 150 pts 

Fast Attack 

Ravener Brood: 6 Raveners with Scything Talons and Rending Claws - 270 pts 

Ravener Brood: 6 Raveners with Scything Talons and Deathspitters - 294 pts 

Gargoyle Brood: 32 Gargoyles - 320 pts 

Heavy Support 

Torrasque Species: Carnifex with Adrenal Glands (Yes), Enhanced Senses, Toxin Sacs, Extended Carapace, Implant Attack, Venom Cannon and Scything Talons - 161 pts 

Torrasque: 1 Torrasque - 161 pts 

The Three Wise Ones: 1 Zoanthrope with Catalyst, 1 Zoanthrope with Warp Blast, 1 Zoanthrope with Synapse Creature - 142 pts

Biovore Brood: 3 Biovores with Frag Spore Mines, Poison Spore Mines and Bio-Acid Spore Mines - 234 pts

Spoils

Captive Girl: 1 10 year old girl encased in cocoon - 4 pts 

Weasely Executive: 1 sleazy executive obsessed with bringing the Tyranids into civilisation - 8 pts 

Metamorphic Chrysalis: 1 Metamorphic Cocoon with a psychic loved one - 6 pts

Infested Colony: 1 derelict colony infested with Tyranids - 20 pts

TOTAL: 5,200 pts

The list itself is fairly straightforward. It starts with two of the beautiful Alien Queen Hive Tyrants, my favourite Tyranid model. One has a set of rending claws to grasp and snatch away floor paneling and clutch at any small children that may be hiding underneath, and they're also pretty handy for ripping apart any robots that might get in their way, and can fire Warp Blasts so I have something to do in the shooting phase. The other has a venom cannon because it's just too iconic not to include one, and a Warp Field for some extra protection against the numerous heavy weapons that will probably be thrown at it. Both have Catalyst, the best psychic power the Tyranids have. 

Each Hive Tyrant of course has a personal brood of ultra-deadly and hyper cunning elite bodyguards to ward off harm and loom menacingly at the entrances if their charge is confronted with a fierce warrior mom with a combi-flamer. Like the other creatures in the list they also have Implant Attacks because of course all the creatures in this army have a proboscis-like tongue with a small maw on the end. 

The elites start naturally with a full 3 Lictors, the coolest Tyranid unit in the game - I mean come on, they turn invisible! Not INVISIBLE invisible like Stealthsuits of course, but it's the closest you can get without any technology. The only other Elites options Tyranids can normally get are Tyranid Warrior Broods, so I threw in two healthy sized broods, one with Flesh Hooks to spearhead the attack and one with Extended Carapace to resist being shot while they provide Synapse coverage. Both have a smattering of support weapons, partially for tactical flexibility but also because I do like having something to do in the shooting phase. 

The Troops are an interesting part. From the outset it was always going to be a sea of spiky clawed death. See, one of my most vivid memories of playing Brood War was looking out across the sprawling jungles of Aiur and beholding, through my omniscient Black Sheep Wall vantage point, a bunch of Zerglings rampaging through the western approach to the Warp Gate I was getting ready to blow up. The sight of little discrete packs of clawed space bugs splitting off to tear down various structures in their path has always stuck with me, and that is exactly the scene I want to recreate with this Tyranid army. 

Originally this was going to mean lots of Hormagaunts, but then I thought I might have some fun with Genetic Modification, and immediately pounced on the chance to create Hormagaunts with venomous claws, Adrenal Glands (mandatory on Gaunts with that name) and make my Implant Attacks completely ubiquitous across the army. Thus was born the Devouring One. 

Finding this whole Genetic Modification thing kind of fun, I then had a go at what I could do with Rippers and created the Shredder, an evolved Ripper with potent digestive toxins and adrenal glands to consume biological material even faster, which makes a lot of sense for a Hive Fleet that specialises in infesting planetary ecosystems, pumping them into reproductive overdrive and then feasting on the ripe juicy remains. 

Fast Attack is also fairly straightforward, with two nice sized broods of Raveners, one semi-shooty and one extra-rippy, and a flock of Gargoyles for rooting out hidden resistance and burning down shelters and settlements. 

Finally I went with one of everything on the Heavy Support menu, because all of the Tyranid Heavy Support units are awesome. I was going to use a regular Carnifex, but instead had to genetically engineer a new Carnifex species as a roundabout way of getting a regular Carnifex with an Implant Attack. 

And that's about it, what I would do if I had all the Tyranid models. If you wish to see this army brought to life at some point, you are welcome to donate any NIB or NOS 2001 Tyranid models to me free of shipping charge. 

Otherwise be sure to come back throughout International Goth Month for more ghoulish and spooky army lists. 

The Glory And The Scum

Where is it!! WHERE IS IT!! It was here only a day ago! WHO HAS STOLEN MY RIGHTFUL PRIZE!! YOU DARE TO ROB ME OF WHAT IS MINE!? YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR YOUR DEFIANCE!! I WILL HUNT YOU THROUGH ETERNITY IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT!! YOU WILL NEVER BE SAFE FROM MY WRATH!! MINIONS! TO ME!

Ahem. So as I was hitting up the local second-hand bookstore I managed to find another lot of old Warhammer books.

They're the 3rd edition Codex: Tyranids and the 6th edition Chaos Warriors army book for Warhammer Fantasy (back when it was Hordes of Chaos and Demons were still part of the book. Ahh those were the days). There was also a copy of the 3rd edition Space Marine codex and the 3rd edition Warhammer 40,000 rulebook. I was going to get the 3rd edition rulebook, but in between me checking it was still there and actually going to buy it (two consecutive days) some bastard swooped in and bought it before I could. The Space Marine codex was left, and as far as I am aware is still there. I was tempted to buy it as well, but I'm not really sure how much use I'd get from it since I have no desire at all to ever own a (loyalist) Space Marine army, ever.

The 3rd edition Tyranids codex was admittedly my main target, and was an extremely fortunate find as it was the next 3rd edition codex I wanted to get after the 3.5 edition Chaos Space Marines book. I have plans, you see, to get it and the 4th edition Tyranid codex that followed it in order to try and compile a full catalogue of every Tyranid biomorph that's been published in Warhammer 40,000's history. An impossible task to be sure, for the Great Devourer is constantly mutating and evolving, but I want to get a good idea of all the biomorphs that have been featured and what they do for use in designing homebrew rules.

A cursory look through Lexicanum seems to indicate that this was the last of the 'first generation' of 3rd edition Warhammer 40,000 codexes, released just before the famous 3.5 edition books, and it definitely shows. From the artwork to the background stories to the overall layout, the whole book feels like a prototype 3.5 edition codex. The cover artwork has the same sort of gritty, realistic style as most of the 3.5 edition cover art (in sharp contrast to the more vividly colourful first generation 3rd edition codex covers), and it's easily my favourite out of the Tyranid codex covers. The tortured, dying sun, the pack of gaunts barrelling straight towards the viewer, the sickly green glow from the barbed strangler, the fantastic use of indistinct background shapes and the dark brooding colour scheme all drive home exactly what the Tyranids are to me. The internal artwork also has a distinctly 3.5 edition feel, with many pieces in the softer sketch style of the late 3rd edition period rather than the comparatively sharper and more immediately Blancheian early 3rd edition artwork. There are a few exceptions, some of which (like a small piece at the end of the book depicting some giant Tyranid spores drifting between celestial bodies) would later end up in Battlefleet Gothic: Armada. There is also a delightfully creepy background art on many pages that mimics the amazing inside cover, which lends a fantastic ambience to the book.

It is still at the same 40something page length of the early 3rd edition codexes, but pound for pound there's an astonishing amount of stuff in there. The rules are somewhat light, especially for biomorphs - I was expecting that most of the biomorphs featured in the 4th edition codex would have gotten their start here, but it seems like many of them (especially the Carnifex upgrades) were invented for the later book. Consequently the 'armoury' section is fairly thin, with most of the customisation options coming from the optional mutation and genetic engineering rules at the back of the book. The unit and weapon stats had some interesting features, bio-acid spore mines weren't quite as hardcore as I was anticipating them to be, and I'm still struggling to imagine why I would want to use Devourers, especially on gaunts - I know the models look pretty funky, but I'm just not sure exactly what 2 strength 2 shots are meant to accomplish. Is it a numbers thing where you're aiming to force wounding 6s and failed armour saves through sheer weight of dice? They seem slightly better on Warriors and Raveners where they get bolter strength and 6 shots each respectively, but then I can't help but think how much better Deathspitters look since they have better range, AP and strength, and seem like they'd hit just as many enemies per shooting round since they're blast weapons. Likewise rending claws seem kind of redundant on the monstrous creatures since they already ignore armour saves automatically, unless you want to giggle about Carnifexes getting AP22 against vehicles in close combat (which admittedly is kind of fun to think about). Ah what do I care, it's not like I've ever been interested in the competitive gaming side of this hobby anyway.

Speaking of non-gaming stuff, there's a healthy colour section nestled in the middle of the book with a lot of helpful hobby material and a layout that's eerily similar to the colour section in the later 3rd edition Tau codex. It has guides on converting and assembling Tyranid models, as well as plenty of photos of what is actually my favourite incarnation of the Tyranid model range. Yes, I like this one more than the 4th edition range - THERE I SAID IT! The 4th edition range has a lot of nice technical attributes in the form of bits and opportunities for customisation, to be sure, but in terms of aesthetics the 3rd edition range has it pretty solidly beat hands down as far as I'm concerned. The scything talons look like actual talons on the larger models (whereas the ones on the 4th edition models tend to look more like long chitin-covered fingers to me), and the whole range just looks more threatening to me than the later versions (I've never understood the 'friendly smiles' complaint that gets levelled at this range a lot - the grins on the models always looked more psychotic or sinister to me). Most of my favourite Tyranid models are also from this time, including the 3rd edition Lictor and Biovore (for some reason the later versions of them just never looked right to me), the Raveners with their wicked looking maws, the Tyrant Guard (I always liked the 'elite warrior bodyguard' style of the 3rd edition Tyrant Guard rather than the pudgy balls of chitin from the later editions) and of course the awe inspiring 3rd edition Hive Tyrant. I even have plans to convert one of the newer Hive Tyrant models back into the 3rd edition style if I ever start a Tyranid army...

Since I couldn't get the 3rd edition rulebook, I consoled myself with this, the 6th edition Chaos Warriors army book for Warhammer Fantasy. I don't remember exactly how it was received at the time, and I have some trouble discerning the community's memory of this book with that of the 7th edition one (wait there was a 7th edition Warriors of Chaos army book right? I distinctly remember there being one, that was an actual thing and I'm not going insane yes?), but GW certainly seems to have made a big deal about it at the time - right after the contents page there's a page-long introductory spiel about how this book will change everything for Chaos armies (There's also a corresponding page at the back with advice on how to proxy older Chaos models not represented in the book as stuff that does have rules for it in the book, which I quite liked) along with the later Beasts of Chaos army book and a mysterious second companion book that never seems to have materialised.

As far as army books go, it's massive - easily the lengthiest one I've come across so far, and full of background information about Chaos and the Northern Chaos-worshipping barbarian tribes of the Warhammer World, and a lengthy army list section not entirely unlike that of its 40k cousin the 3.5 edition Chaos Space Marines book. However, I've never actually been that interested in the Warriors side of Chaos in Warhammer Fantasy (or the Chaos Space Marines in 40k for that matter - it's always been the creepier sinister insidious paranormal horror side of Chaos that's interested me rather than the fightey punchy heavy metal side), so really the main reason I wanted it was to plunder the magic items section for goodies to give the Beastmen army I wanted but will almost certainly never get (the magic item armouries in the two army books are inter-compatible with one another you see - as I understand it a Beastmen character can take stuff from the Chaos Warriors armoury, and vice versa). There were a couple of things in it that caught my interest, like the Hellfire Sword or the Blade of Blood, but ultimately I was kind of let down by the magic items - again, they mostly seemed to be of the whole raging fighty warrior style of Chaos, and that's really not what I'm looking for when it comes to the Ruinous Powers. Still, there's a lot of neat stuff in that book.

If you follow GW news a lot then you'll probably know that they recently switched their hobby magazine, White Dwarf, back to a monthly format after a stint as a weekly pamphlet. I was going to write something about this sooner (I've actually had this copy for a few weeks now), but something came up and I had to delay this whole post by a couple of weeks or so. Unfortunately at least half of the content featured in it is for a system I have absolutely no interest in whatsoever (and no GW, taking the 8th edition Dwarf Slayer model and giving it a new paint job does not make it a special Grombrindal model), so it was off to a bad start already, but on the positive side I was pleased to see two female White Dwarf team members featured prominently on the staff list inside the cover - as someone who has wanted for some time to see more... girls? Women? Ladies? I'm not quite sure what the most appropriate term to use here is, but more female hobbyists at any rate (and more female computer gamers too for that matter) I'm always glad to see a blow against the whole male dominated hobby thing. All genders should be welcome in the world of tabletop wargames.

Other features include some background stuff about Imperial Knights, which might have excited me 5 or 6 years ago but is now of little use since I've grown almost entirely self-sufficient when it comes to tabletop background material (3-10 years of stupid official background will do that to you) and some designers' notes on the ungodly eyesore that is the 8th edition Nagash model released for the thrice-damned ET series, which much like the 8th edition Treeman model and its unclean spawn in the AoS sylvaneth range possesses an uncanny ability to make my blood boil even now over a year after its release. Ultimately it was a good attempt at putting more content back in, but after experiencing the glory of the early 2000s era White Dwarfs I don't think anything will ever truly compare.

The most profound reaction I had, however, was with the featured army of the month, a very large Biel-Tan Craftworld Eldar army featuring some damn fine paint work. Reading about it though, and some of the history behind it, I couldn't help but feel... sad. I've touched on the death of most of my hobby dreams a few times before, but one in particular I don't think I've mentioned yet is that I've sort of always wanted to have one of my armies or fleets featured in a White Dwarf article. Ever since I first started reading through White Dwarfs (and even before then on the old GW website) I would always liked looking at the featured armies (starting with none other than the legendary Tau army of Sebastian 'Tael' Stuart himself in the first issue of White Dwarf I ever purchased) and reading the owner's commentary about them - what made them go with that paint scheme, where the idea for the army came from, how they did this particular conversion and so on, and I would always dream of one day seeing my own army (later armies when I expanded into more than one) featured in White Dwarf so that other hobbyists might enjoy reading about it like I had before them.

Unfortunately it seems that my views have become diametrically opposed to GW's. I hate metaplots like the one they torpedoed Warhammer Fantasy with and the one they're driving into 40k, and I genuinely see nothing good in just about every GW model released in the last couple of years (the closest I get to having a positive thing to say about them is the occasional "Meh... it's kind of ok... I guess..." or "I suppose I could use one or two parts from that in a conversion... maybe..." which is a very far cry from the "WOW that's awesome!" that literally any GW model released between 1999 and 2008 universally gets from me, or the "Hey that's pretty neat/cool!" reaction that any GW model from before 1999 gets*). Ultimately, all the GW and Forgeworld models I love are from the past, not the future.

This means that in all likelihood I will never get featured in a White Dwarf article, or even on the GW website. My armies/fleets will never be showcased in lavish professional photographs, I will never be able to share any anecdotes or cool stories with millions of readers across the world, and worst of all I will never inspire another hobbyist the way the ones featured in those showcases inspired me. The closest I'll get is this blog, and considering that it's buried under 4 and a half pages in a google search for 'Naked Metal' I'm not sure how many aspiring young hobbyists are going to find it...

On that note however I do wish to express my immense joy and excitement at GW's new 'Made to Order' service for older models. As someone who has been calling for a cast-on-demand archive service for years now I was thrilled to discover the announcement on the GW website and the first wave of old Imperial Guard models to get the treatment. There are still a couple of kinks that could be ironed out (I still think a minimum availability period of 48 hours is too short to reach the most people who would be interested), but it's a definite step in the right direction and has my full support and OHMYGOD They're even in metal!!

Well done GW. Keep going down that path and you might actually start getting more money from me.