Showing posts with label Dwarves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dwarves. Show all posts

Sunday, 28 April 2024

The Battle of The Cracked Gate (Warhammer Battle Report)

 The Battle of The Cracked Gate - A Warhammer Battle Report


A savage, feral wind screamed beneath a blood red sunset that raged and boiled against clouds dark as a tomb. Below was a sea of snow cold and blue as steel, where the trees huddled together for warmth. Mother rabbits held their kits close in their burrows. Robbins clung to their perches with bleached feet and dared not make a sound. Foxes and crows waited motionless in the dark with hungry eyes in anticipation of what was to come. The only movement came from five figures that darted and glided across the snowdrifts towards a waiting sixth. 

The cold assailed Faerloc from every direction, probing his Lauralinae cloak for any weakness, needling his mouth through the holes of his facemask and pinching his eyes at every step as he strode forward from the rest of his Wood Wasp Scouts to stand beside the still figure of the Wishmaster. To the uninitiated it would be hard to believe that this hunched looking figure, leaning on the half-buried King's Longsword with a cloak wrapped tightly about him, was the ruler of the Meadows of Heaven and the one Faerloc called lord. Beyond the sword, the only outward sign he was not a vagabond was the steely commanding gaze with which he fixed the hulking monolithic silhouette of the distant castle far to Faerloc's right. 

"Ill news I fear," said Faerloc as he stood next to the Wishmaster, "The dwarfs have undermined the southeast and northwest approaches to the castle. We will not be able to advance from those directions without running into traps or alerting the dwarfs to our intentions. Only the close perimeter of the castle walls is safe." 

"Unfortunate," the Wishmaster replied without taking his eyes away from the fortress, "We will have to concentrate on the northeast and southwest instead, and trust in a more concentrated blow to break through." 

"We are still to attack then?" 

"Yes. We strike when the storm breaks." 

"The storm winds will hinder our archery." 

"It will hinder their missiles as well, which they will be depending on more." 

"Lord Roland will not be pleased that we have laid waste to one of his keeps." 

"The Kegh-Mon knows full well the particulars of his treaty with us and the consequences of harbouring fugitives. He has granted enemies of The Wood refuge, who have dared to strike at a Glamourweave and one of The Four. His fort is forfeit as is the lives of those within it." 

Faerloc gave a short nod. "Very well then," he said, "I shall inform the kinbands to prepare for assault. The Forest shall have its blood." 


A few months ago the local gaming store I frequent put on an all-day launch event for the release of TOW. As a ride-or-die 6th edition diehard (well OK I like 7th and 8th too, but ONLY with 6th edition army books) I had originally planned to give the event a miss and leave the TOW fans to have fun with their new game in peace. 

But one of my regular gaming buddies was bitten hard with the Warhammer bug from it, and their enthusiasm is frankly dangerously infectious, and they were eager to run a side-by-side comparison to see how TOW stacked up with 6th edition (which is their normal mainstay for Warhammer), and so after applying a bit of arm torsion managed to rope me on board. 

Since there was promise of a 6th edition Warhammer game, I also decided that such a high profile event would be a good opportunity for me to put into motion my own secret plan to get more of my figures on the table. Thus I spent the two weeks leading up to it feverishly working on some siege equipment, and come Saturday I unleashed... 


... THE CASTLE. 


The Castle


Thus was the genesis for what was to become the Battle of The Cracked Gate. 


In the year 1044 the roving band of Dwarfs known as the Folk of the Fell Cellar were enjoying a rare respite from their endless flight across the wilds of the old world. Following their ill-fated ambush of a Spellsinger from the Meadows of Heaven the Wood Elves of that realm had hunted them relentlessly across the Grey Mountains for many long years and the Dwarfs were growing increasingly desperate. 

But now the Folk of the Fell Cellar had been invited by Lord Rolland The Valiant to take up residence in one of his border castles while the Bretonnian lord was away on crusade with his knights. As well as a pragmatic desire for additional security of his lands, Roland was motivated by a great sense of empathy for the vagabond Dwarfs. He also hoped that in return for his hospitality the Dwarfs would reward his good deed by sharing the secrets of Dwarven craftsmanship and architecture with his own artisans, who could then use that knowledge to further enrich his realm. 

By the time word of this reached the Meadows Of Heaven it was already the end of autumn. Much debate was had about whether to attack immediately or wait until the following spring or summer, when the forest would be at its strongest, but it was decided that the castle would best be attacked at once, as if the Wood Elves waited the Dwarfs might be able to escape and go to ground, or worse become more entrenched, perhaps even establishing a hold of their own which would make them impossible to remove. 

The attack was planned for the early weeks of winter, to make the most of what little power the forest could offer up in support, but incessant and extremely dogged raids by Goblin tribes driven back from Roland's borders ended up delaying the progress of the Meadows Of Heaven's expeditionary army, so they did not reach the castle until midwinter and were forced to detach their Waywatcher kinbands to act as rear security. 

Nonetheless the Wood Elves roused what spirits and energy of the forest they could, and made ready to besiege the castle and make an example of the Fell Cellar folk once and for all. 


Armies and Strategy 

Since this will be my first Siege game, it will also be a first test of my overall Siege doctrine. Having pondered Sieges for many years, I have worked out a doctrine for attacking castles that leverages the Wood Elf advantages in mobility and hard-hitting combat skirmishers to attack multiple sections of the castle at once. With any luck this will stretch the defenders thinly enough that I can punch through and capture the ramparts in at least one sector, or better yet create a hole or two in the castle's defenses that I can exploit to get onto the walls uncontested. 

That starts with having some hard-hitting assault troops, and for that purpose I've gone with two healthy sized units of Wardancers. Excellent fighters in most situations, their Shadow Dances of Loec give them a fantastic swiss army knife of tactical options for both offensive and defensive situations, and their immunity to psychology should help with any Panic tests they need to make on approach. These two units will be spearheading the assault on the sides of the castle. 

Helping the Wardancers out will be a strong mobile reserve of flyers in the form of two Great Eagles and four Warhawk Riders. These forces will use their speed to quickly dart over to one of the castle's sides and attack with the Wardancers there. My experience so far has shown that it usually only takes a small few extra attacks to tip a combat decisively in my favour, and I'll be counting on these fast moving units to do just that in the right place at the right time. 

Meanwhile I plan to draw the Dwarfs' attention away from the sides of the castle with a formidable frontal assault on the castle's gate, and for this purpose I'm turning to my very best - the Defenders of The Glade of Poppies, a full 20-elf regiment of Eternal Guard. This regiment has proven to be a star performer in just about every battle they've fought in so far, so I'm giving them the difficult and unenviable task of handling the battering ram and attacking the gatehouse head-on. With any luck their 5+ armour save will help see them through the worst of the attention they can expect to receive, and once in the courtyard they should prove very difficult to shift. 

I also want a token diversionary force to attack the rear wall - I'm not expecting much from them, but with any luck this feint will keep pressure on any defenders there and keep them from reinforcing the locations of my real attacks. And there is no better unit in the Wood Elf army for this task than a nice healthy group of Dryads. Their excellent blend of combat power, endurance and cost make them perfect for these kinds of throwaway missions and tying down disproportionately large parts of the opposing army. 

With all the main elements of the army in place, it's time to look at support for them. My first choice for this is no less than three good-sized units of Glade Guard to provide plenty of shooting cover for the assault forces. Two of these regiments have been equipped with mantlets, to get them closer to the castle so they can use their extra powerful short-range shooting attacks, as well as to give them some extra protection from the inevitable Dwarf return fire. The third will have to make do without them, because I was only able to build and paint enough mantlets in time to equip two archer units. 


The Wood Elves deploy under the cover of mantlets



Now it's time for the Character support. As I'm only working with 3000 points I can only bring two Lord choices, and naturally I'm going to be making full use of both of them. The first is the Wishmaster himself, a Highborn general who will most likely be lurking around the battlefield lending shooting support and morale aid wherever it is needed most. His trusty Amaranthine Brooch should be able to defend against the worst of any Dwarf firepower that comes his way. 

Joining him will be my Spellweaver, Aneaeth Ollissin, to provide some serious magic support for my frontal assault force and enchant the arrows from the Glade Guard unit she joins. If I can land a few healing spells on the Eternal Guard it should keep them mostly intact until they're planted firmly in the courtyard. To ensure some magic support for the other side of the castle I've also taken my Spellsinger, Ailyn, who also gives me my required beautiful Elven enchantress on a unicorn. 

The last two characters will be Moniqeth, my faithful Battle Standard Bearer, to help rally the troops in the face of steep casualties and loose a preparatory barrage with the Hail of Doom Arrow, as well as Gaerielle, a solidly equipped combat Noble to help spearhead the gate assault with the Eternal Guard. 

Finally, I have just enough points left over for a unit of Scouts to provide vital reconnaissance and surveillance of the castle. When the time comes they will also scale the walls with the Wardancers so they can disarm any traps that might be hidden inside the fortress, especially among the treasure chests. 

Putting all that together produces the following: 


Expeditionary Host of The Meadows of Heaven 

Lords 

The Wishmaster  - Highborn with Light Armour, Great Weapon, Bow of Loren, Amaranthine Brooch and Arcane Bodkins 

Aneaeth Ollissin - Level 4 Spellweaver with A Resplendence of Luminescents, Wand of Wych Elm and Talisman of Protection 


Heroes 

Moniqeth - Noble Battle Standard Bearer with Light Amrour, Asyendi's Bane and Hail of Doom Arrow 

Gaerielle The Twilight Storm - Noble with Light Armour, Spear of Twilight and Helm of The Hunt 

Ailyn - Level 2 Glamourweave Spellsinger with Calaingor's Stave and A Pageant of Shrikes, mounted on a Unicorn


Core 

The Spirit of Spring - 16 Glade Guard with Full Command and Mantlets 

Forever Autumn - 16 Glade Guard with Full Command and Mantlets 

Summer Lightning - 16 Glade Guard with Full Command 

The Wood Wasps - 5 Scouts with Lord's Bowman and Grappling Hooks

Defenders of The Glade of Poppies - 20 Eternal Guard with Full Command, Banner of Dwindling and Log Ram 

The Scaretale - 12 Dryads with Branch Nymph and Grappling Hooks 


Special 

The Dark Passion Play - 10 Wardancers with Musician, Bladesinger and Grappling Hooks 

The Empty Spiral - 10 Wardancers with Musician, Bladesinger and Grappling Hooks 

Élan - 4 Warhawk Riders with Wind Rider


Rare

Haast - Great Eagle 

Berkut - Great Eagle 



The opposing Dwarf force consisted of the following 


The Folk of The Fell Cellar 

Lords 

Lord of the Fell Cellar - Dwarf Lord with Rune Axe with Master Rune of Skalf Blackhammer, and unknown runes


Core 

Warrior Clan - 10 Warriors with Hand Weapons, Shields and Full Command

Warrior Clan - 10 Warriors with Hand Weapons, Shields and Full Command 

Thunderer Clan - 10 Thunderers with Full Command 

Thunderer Clan - 10 Thunderers with Full Command 


Special 

The Golden Gun - Cannon with Engineer with Great Weapon, Master Rune of Defence and unknown runes

The Silver Gun - Cannon with Engineer with Great Weapon, Rune of Forging, unknown runes

The Steel Gun - Cannon with Engineer with Great Weapon, unknown runes


Defences 

5 cauldrons of boiling lead 

Reinforced Gate 


If this looks like two Battle for Skull Pass Dwarf sets stitched together into a coherent army list, it's because that's exactly what it is. 


The Dwarfs muster their forces in the castle grounds



Warhammer Siege - The Battle 

Deployment and Spells 

As the attacking player I get to deploy my entire army first, and it is here that I discover to my horror that the store's tables are actually quite a bit narrower than they first seem, leaving quite a bit less than 24" from the sides of the castle to the nearest table edge. This pushes my carefully planned encirclement into a kind of hourglass formation as large chunks of my army are forced into the table corners. 

Nonetheless I try to make do as best I can, and my deployment is as close to my original plan as I can make it. The Eternal Guard deploy with their ram dead front of the castle gate, as close as they can manage. Summer Lightning sets up with Aneaeth in some woods on their right, and the Spirit of Spring on their left. The Empty Spiral deploy right of Summer Lightning, as close to the castle's left wall as they can manage.


Deployment at the front of the castle



On the other side of the table, the Dryads line up facing the rear wall, with Forever Autumn on their left and the Scouts and Dark Passion Play on their right. The birds take up position either side of Forever Autumn, the Warhawks hugging the reverse slope of a nearby hill for whatever protection they can get. Ailyn sets up behind them, the Wishmaster next to the Eagles, and both Nobles with the Eternal Guard. 


Deployment at the rear of the castle


The Dwarfs set up with one unit of Thunderers manning the gatehouse, one unit of Thunderers and one unit of Warriors on the rear wall and cannons on top of the two front towers and the rear right tower. The Dwarf Lord takes up a place in the ranks of the Warriors on the rear wall. The final unit of Warriors is kept in the courtyard as a reserve force. 


Man the walls!



With deployment complete, it was time for me to roll some spells for my mages. My usual plan with my Wood Elves is for my mages to act as medics with healing spells, and this time will be no exception as I want to make as much use of Ariel's Blessing as possible to keep my fragile Wood Elves alive in the face of Dwarf firepower. What this means right now is that I want to get Ariel's Blessing on at least one of my two spellcasters if at all possible. 

In the end I manage just that. Aneaeth ends up bringing Ariel's Blessing alongside Fury of The Forest, Call of The Hunt and Tree Singing. In a very rare instance, I end up with Call of The Hunt twice, as Ailyn rolls it as well along with Tree Singing

And then the battle began in earnest. 


Dwarf Turn 1 

As the defenders of the castle the Dwarfs start the first turn. Their opening movement phase is tame, with the Dwarfs on the walls adopting skirmish mode and shuffling around the ramparts a little bit. 

The Dwarf shooting phase is much more lively. Both the cannons on the front towers spring into action and line up a bead on the Eternal Guard. The front left cannon fires first, the shot bouncing into the Eternal Guard and hitting bang smack into Gaerielle, knocking her out of the fight. The front right cannon falls further short, and only manages a single casualty on the Eternal Guard with its bounce. 

Not to be outdone, the rear cannon fires a shot at Eagles, attempting to strike down both with one bounce. The shot manages to squarely hit Haast, spelling doom for the valliant bird and..... 


....... rolls a 1 to wound. 


Following the cannons comes the Thunderers. The gatehouse Thunderers fire a volley at the Eternal Guard bearing down on them, inflicting two casualties. Their counterparts on the rear wall fare far more poorly, failing to land any wounds on the Dryads they took aim at. 


The Thunderers guarding the gatehouse brace themselves for what is to come



Wood Elf Turn 1

Well, that went alright all things considered. Losing one of my characters - and the noble I was expecting to spearhead the gate attack with no less - right off the gate isn't ideal, but that shooting certainly could have gone a lot worse for me. And both the sides of the castle are still undefended, if I can just reach them with my Wardancers my plan will be back on track and I should be able to still seize the castle. 

But that won't happen unless I actually get close to the castle, so my own movement phase consists primarily of every unit converging on the castle in one way or another. The Wardancer units both make a beeline for their respective sides of the castle, while the Eagles begin to fly over to the left side of the castle to get out of the rear cannon's arc of fire - I'm now very nervous about them getting knocked out when I need them for supporting my attacks on the walls. The Warhawk Riders similarly glide over to the left side with an eye towards charging the front left cannon to take some of the heat off my Eternal Guard, who themselves continue marching straight up to the castle, as do the Dryads on the opposite side of the battlefield. 


The Warhawk Riders soar towards the castle



The Scouts shift around to the right side of the castle with an eye towards backing up the Dark Passion Play when they scale the right wall. Finally the Glade Guard move forward as best they can to get into short range of the ramparts. 

A combination of my usual spell dice and some good Dwarf dispels means I only manage to cast one spell in the magic phase, but it is fortunately the one I wanted most - Ariel's Blessing on the Eternal Guard. 

My shooting phase starts out dramatically with Moniqeth loosing the Hail of Doom Arrow on the Thunderers in the gatehouse, landing 8 hits and downing 3 Dwarfs when the dust clears. This proves to be the high water mark of my shooting, as the Glade Guard at the front of the castle try to land hits on the cannons in the towers and fail to land a single wound on any of the crewmen. Their compatriots behind the castle try their luck with the Warriors on the rear wall, reasoning them to be an easier target and looking to soften them up ahead of the Dryads assaulting the walls, but fail to land any hits let alone wounds. The Scouts send an opportunistic volley into the rear cannon, and miss entirely, as does the Wishmaster when he too tries to pick off a few of the Warriors on the rear wall. The only other bright spot is the Warhawk Riders, who manage to both hit and land a wound on one of the front left cannon crew who... 


... rolls a 6 on his armour save. Wonderful. 


The end of Turn 1



End of Turn 1 from the rear




Dwarf Turn 2

Most of the Dwarfs stay firmly planted where they are on the walls. The sole exception is the Warriors in the courtyard, who make a decision to commit to the left wall and begin to make their way there. 


Lightning flashes overhead as the battle is joined


The Dwarf shooting phase begins with the rear cannon taking a shot at the Eagles, trying again to bring down two birds with one stone cannonball. Between bounces it manages to hit both Eagles, and knocks Haast out of the sky, and then... 


.... rolls a 1 to wound Berkut. 


The cannons at the front of the castle fare even worse. The front right cannon fires again at the Eternal Guard but overshoots them completely. The front left cannon swings around and takes a shot at the fast-closing Warhawk Riders and Misfires! When the dust settles the Misfire result is, fortunately for the Dwarfs, only a 6. 

The rear Thunderers try to pick up the slack and fire a volley at Berkut, aiming to succeed where their cannoneer comrades failed. They very nearly manage just that, leaving the noble raptor on just one wound. The gatehouse Thunderers pour another salvo into the Eternal Guard, but of the four hits they manage only two land wounds and one of those is regenerated by Ariel's Blessing


The end of the Dwarf Turn 2



Wood Elf Turn 2

Well losing one of the Eagles and their crucial mobile support is not ideal, and neither is having the other on his last legs, but this is still far from over. Both the side walls are still completely undefended, and if I can get some Wardancers onto them uncontested they can cause some serious havoc. My Eternal Guard are also fairly intact, and if I can get them through the castle gate I'll have a good chance at securing the courtyard by the end. 

Those cannons are starting to cause me a great deal of concern though, and really need to go sooner rather than later. To that end the first Charge of the game sees the Warhawk Riders swoop down onto the front left Cannon, only to get a face full of molten lead for their troubles. The rest of the Wood Elves continue to converge on the castle as best they can. 


The Warhawk Riders swoop down upon a Dwarf cannon crew



The magic phase sees the Dwarfs dispel Aneaeth's attempt to recast Ariel's Blessing, but in the process they use up all their dispel dice and are thus unable to intervene when Ailyn succeeds in casting Call of The Hunt on the Dryads, sending them careening up the rear wall and into combat with the Thunderers on top of it. The rest of the Magic Phase is rounded off with some light Treesinging


Dryads surge towards the rear of the castle


The Wood Elf shooting is largely a repeat of the first turn, with the Spirit of Spring managing to pick off three Warriors from the rear wall while the Scouts' opportunistic pot shots at the rear cannon fail to land any wounds. The Glade Guard at the front of the castle both concentrate on the gatehouse Thunderers, reckoning them an easier target than the artillery crewmen, but either miss completely or fail to land any wounds. 


The Wood Elves bring forth the battering ram


But it will all be OK as long as I can just get rid of at least one cannon crew, and I have my Warhawks in combat with one! Alas, what might have otherwise been ideal prey for the Warhawk Riders proves much more formidable with a set of castle battlements in front of them. Defending ramparts means that the Dwarfs get to swing first despite being charged, and the Engineer with the front left Cannon crew manages to finish off two of the Warhawk Riders that had been injured by the boiling oil. The remaining Warhawks fail to land any hits, and promptly break and Flee. 


The Dwarf gunners fight valiantly


The Dryads fare little better, failing to inflict any casualties against the Thunderers on the rear wall and taking a couple of losses in return. They do however prove to be made of sterner stuff than their Elf counterparts when they pass their Break Test and remain locked in combat. 


The Spellsinger Ailyn bolsters the rear attack force




The start of Turn 3


Dwarf Turn 3 

The Dwarf turn begins with what ends up being the only Charge the Dwarfs will ever make the entire game, as the Warriors on the rear wall pile into the combat unfolding on the ramparts next to them. Their brethren in the courtyard also make it to the left wall and ascend to the battlements there. 

The Dwarf shooting phase this turn starts not with a bang but with a whimper. First the rear cannon attempts to target the Scouts close by and Misfires, rolling a 3 and leaving it infuriatingly still intact but mercifully unable to fire this turn. The Dwarf misfortune continues when the front right Cannon attempts to fire at the Eternal Guard and rolls a second Misfire! After the Engineering runes take effect however it is only a 6, leaving it free to fire next turn. The remaining Cannon takes a shot at the Wardancers closing fast on the left wall and manages to bring down two of them. 

The combat on the rear wall sees the Dwarf Lord, his attending Warriors and the Thunderers hack down three Dryads between them for far less than three Dwarfs in return, and this time the Dryads decide to cut their losses and Flee. 


The end of Dwarf Turn 3



The violent bellowing roars of cannon fire shattered the song of the wind, following a few paces behind the unnaturally bright flashes that rippled across the darkness above and cast a ghostly sihlouette of the monstrous black cliff of cold stone bricks that stretched into the swirling clouds. At its foot came ten shadows, whirling snaking forms barely visible in the dark of the blizzard, their madly twisting and swirling forms blending seamlessly into the wild path of the snow. One by one they came to hover by the foot of the wall, shifting from one foot to the other, twisting and writhing, taking the tension of a coiled spring as they waited. 

"Is all our company here?" 

Naestrelle tossed a glance over each of the assembled figures, marking them one by one with her eyes. Though the wind smothered and throttled her lithe athletic figure and washed over her bare skin, she felt only a cool breeze at midsummer. The spiraling tattoos that ran across her flesh shifted and flickered with strange inner colours. 

Satisfied, Naestrelle gave a short quick nod. "Yes, all our players are present. You may begin." 

A short staccato pattern of drumbeats fluttered through the night at the base of the wall. At once the ten elves bounded and dashed to a line abreast before it. Then the drum began anew, a sinuous elusive rhythm that slowly grew in pace and intensity. As it grew each figure began to grow wilder and more eager in their jumps and pirouettes. 

As the drums reached a feverish crescendo, the elves in unison hurled their weapons straight into the air with all their might. As the blades spun upwards above them, each elf fetched a slender silver grappling hook tethered by sturdy vine cord to their waist belt, released some slack with a quick bend of the arm, gave three tremendous swings and gave a tremendous somersault into the air, flinging the hooks towards the distant top of the ramparts high above as they furiously wheeled through the air. 

A series of ten sonorous clangs rang out from far above at the precise instant the falling weapons returned to their masters' hands, each effortlessly caught in mid air as the Wardancers began their wild galloping ascent of the dark castle, bounding and spinning and and sprinting up the stones in a web of gravity defying acrobatics. 

At the very climax the Dark Passion Play vaulted over the top of the castle ramparts and corkscrewed through the midnight wind to land with a united bow upon the empty top of the wall.


The Wardancers launch a daring sneak attack



Wood Elf Turn 3

At last, all my main combat elements are close enough to the castle, now is the moment to strike that I have been waiting for! But first, I must see to my fleeing units. The Dryads Rally easily enough and form up not too far from the rear wall. The Warhawk Riders do not, and unceremoniously fly off the table. 


Berkut swoops down on the battlements, eager for revenge on the Dwarfs


But then my long-awaited three pronged attack is sprung. The Eternal Guard charge the castle gate. The Wardancers on the left charge the Warriors on the left wall, as does Berkut. Their Wardancer comrades on the opposite side then reach the right wall and swiftly scale it onto the battlements. The Scouts also move up to the wall. Everyone else slowly makes their way closer to the castle. 


Battle erupts on the left wall!


The magic phase is largely a repeat of the turn before. Ailyn manages to send the Dryads back into the fray with Call of The Hunt, while the Dwarfs hold on to their dispel dice to thwart Aneaeth's spellcasting at the front of the castle. In the end this turns out to waste all their dispel dice as my own regular magic luck kicks in and Aneath Miscasts Ariel's Blessing, leading to a premature end of the magic phase. 

The shooting phase is much a repeat of previous turns, failing to inflict any casualties at all this time. 

The combat phase begins with the Eternal Guard levelling their battering ram at the castle gate and thrusting with all their might. The impact results in a Cracked! damage result on the gate, not bad for a first swing. The rear combat sees another two Dryads cut down for no Dwarf losses, and once again the Dryads break and flee. The combat on the left wall however is much less decisive, with a combination of defended ramparts and 4+ Ward Saves leaving neither side able to inflict any wounds. 


Dwarf Turn 4

There is no Dwarf movement this turn, every unit not locked in combat holding its position on the walls. 

The shooting phase sees the Dwarfs return to form with a vengeance. The Thunderers on the rear wall fail to accomplish much of anything, and the rear cannon crew drops a pot full of boiling lead on the Scouts in the shadow of the tower, who only narrowly avoid the splash. The Dwarfs at the front of the castle are another matter entirely however. First the front right cannon fires a blast of grapeshot into the Wardancers on the right wall and brings down four of them. Then the gatehouse Thunderers and front left cannon unleash hell upon the Eternal Guard. Between the boiling lead, grapeshot and handgun bullets only the Eternal Guardian and Moniqeth survive unscathed, and somehow manage to pass the resulting Panic test. 

The combat on the left wall then sees the Wardancers fail to land any wounds despite striking first, before the Warriors they are fighting finish off Berkut and two Wardancers, though the elves are still stubborn enough to just narrowly pass the resulting break test and remain in combat. 


Wood Elf Turn 4

It is at this point that I begin to suspect I won't be capturing the castle after all, but I'm still not totally gone just yet. I still have one unit of Wardancers on the walls uncontested and free to begin fighting the Dwarfs from behind the ramparts. I also still have a mass of Glade Guard. If I can just get those archers into the Courtyard by the end of the game, I might still be able to seize the castle out from under the Dwarfs. Since none of the Glade Guard are carrying ladders, this means the only chance of that happening is through the castle gates, so one way or another I have to get those gates open. 

So begins my last final winner takes all gambit. First Moniqeth and the lone surviving Eternal Guardian abandon the battering ram and withdraw into the shadow of the front left tower. In their place rush in Summer Lightning, who march with all their might and just manage to reach the ram and recover it, though they are in no position to make use of it just yet. Following close behind comes Forever Autumn, getting ready to move into the courtyard once the way is free. At the same time, the surviving Wardancers on the right wall dash into the undefended interior of the front right tower. Not only does this keep them safe from more cannon fire, but it also puts them in a position to attack the gatehouse Thunderers - with any luck, they will be able to capture the gatehouse and open the gates themselves if the Glade Guard fail to batter through them. 


The Glade Guard rush to the aid of their friends and take up the battering ram



Meanwhile, the Dryads rally a short distance from the rear wall, and the Scouts reach the right wall and ascend it. Everyone else who can do so makes their way to the gatehouse with all possible haste, except for the fighters at the rear of the castle who simply close in as best they can. 

In the magic phase the Dwarfs do not make the same mistake twice and concentrate on dispelling Call of The Hunt from Ailyn, which they do, while Aneaeth manages to slip Ariel's Blessing through onto Summer Lightning. 

The shooting phase sees Forever Autumn managing to finally inflict some damage, managing to pick off one of the gatehouse Thunderers. Not to be outdone, the Spirit of Spring also mange to bring down a single Dwarf Warrior on the rear wall. 

The single combat of the turn finally sees an end to the fighting on the left wall, as the Wardancers fail to land any wounds and take another casualty for their troubles. This proves to be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and they break and flee. 


Motes of dust swirled in the air as they tumbled down from the wooden ceiling that quaked and rocked with each blast of gunfire. Insulated from the wind and the cold by the thick stone walls, the interior of the tower was worlds away from the howling blizzard and raging battle outside, an oasis of silent tranquility and warm torchlight that radiated across the furniture, barrels and crates scattered across the room. The only sign of the carnage outside was the frequent bursts of nasty cursing and laughter that carried down from the tower's rooftop. The only witness to the conclave of six tall athletic shadows that shifted and pivoted as they waited by an honestly-wrought door of red-orange wood and grey steel. 

"I heard much strife coming from the battlements on the far side," said Larendel, "It may be that the Empty Spiral fail to reach the summit." 

"We ought consider that it is us alone that make the climb," added Malaron. 

"Then we must conquer the mountain ourselves!" said Bethwynn, ever the fierce one, "Let us start with the ones above us manning their dire cannon. They claimed far too many of our players, they must be taught a lesson. I hunger for vengeance." 

Naestrelle cocked her head towards the ceiling, then back towards the way from whence they came, then towards the door they were not beside. Then finally she tossed a glance over the rest of her party. 

"Our path now forks," The Bladesinger began, "And which path to take is the eternal question. Malaron is right, at this hour it is we alone who command the stage, and all wait with hushed breath to see the next act. Yet we shadows are but one passing act of many in this tale. Let us press onwards, not back, through the open door that we might cast open the gates for all the players to appear. For that is how we will make our mark the brightest in this story." 

"Forwards," said Larendel in agreement. 

"Forwards," said Malaron. 

"Forwards." 

"Forwards." 

"Forwards." 

The Wardancers nodded in agreement, and with a unanimous hushed breath and sudden fluttering drumbeat, threw open the door and leapt out into their destiny beyond... 


The end of Turn 4



Turn 5 

Again the Dwarfs stay firmly in place, bracing for more attacks once the fleeing Wood Elf forces rally. 

With the Wardancers in the castle out of harm's way, the rear and front right cannon crews train their guns on the Scouts that have just scaled the ramparts. The resulting crossfire of grapeshot sees the plucky Scouts annihilated in short order. The Thunderers and front left cannon open up on Summer Lightning, and manage to force no less than eight wounds past the Regeneration. 


This is it. Now for my new two-pronged attack on the gate. 

First the Wardancers on the ground fail to rally, but also don't flee too far from the castle. Next, their comrades on the castle make their move, springing from the front right tower and charging into the flank of the Thunders on the gatehouse. The surviving Dryads also charge the rear wall once more. 

The remaining Glade Guard of Summer Lightning reform around the battering ram with Aneaeth, while Forever Autumn continues to close on the gatehouse as fast as they can. Moniqeth and her Eternal Guardian companion begin to make their way away from the castle. 

The magic phase sees Aneaeth cast Call of The Hunt on Summer Lightning, though a similar attempt by Ailyn on the Dryads is dispelled. 

The shooting phase again sees little results. 

At the rear wall the Dryads fail to land any wounds, and the Dwarf Lord finally has enough of their harassment, leaving only the Branch Nymph alive by the time his attacks are resolved. The surviving tree spirit very understandably flees for what will turn out to be the last time. 

Then it all comes down to the gatehouse. The Glade Guard take their best swing at the gate with the battering ram, and with monumental effort manage to land a second Cracked! result. The Wardancers on the gatehouse fare much better, swiftly routing the remaining Thunderers there in a flurry of Strength 4 blows. The gatehouse is mine! 


Turn 6 

With the store's closing time now fast approaching, it all comes down to one final round of Dwarf shooting. If the Dwarfs can clear the Wardancers off the gatehouse, they will have successfully defended the castle. If not, the Wardancers will open the castle gates to the Glade Guard outside, who will pour into the courtyard and capture the castle. 

The two cannons and the front of the castle swing around to the gatehouse and... 


.... wipe out the Wardancers in a hail of grapeshot. 


With that, the Wood Elves decide to cut their losses and make plans to withdraw, leaving the castle in the hands of the Dwarfs. 


The castle is held!



That leaves the end of the game with both sides having gotten complements on how awesome they look, and my opponent having such a great time that they eagerly hunger for more Siege games. They have since embarked on a massive expansion program of their Warhammer armies, resulting in me getting in a string of games with a 3000 point army in the following months. This leaves the battle as a resounding success! 

RESULT: VICTORY 


What Millitant Learnt 

The noticeably lop-sided casualty rates belie just how surprisingly close this game turned out to be. Even with the amount of damage they inflicted the Dwarfs ended up under pressure right up until the final moments, and I was still able to salvage some viable threats even after things started going really askew. Ultimately I was undone by the squashed deployment area on the table, which threw off my carefully synchronised multi-front offensive and left my units attacking the castle piecemeal, rather than as the simultaneous overwhelming wave I originally envisioned. 

Of course, the other side always gets a vote too and it must be said that the Dwarfs did a commendable job of crisis management and excellent target priority, managing to correctly identify the key threat that needed to go each turn just about every time. The Dwarf cannons were the clear MVPs here, not for the physical damage they inflicted but for how they managed to command my attention, immediately spooking me into focusing on them from the start and allowing the Dwarfs to get inside my decision cycle despite their largely static defence. This was most notable in me quickly opting to throw the Warhawk Riders at them, abandoning my plan for them and seeing the valuable flyer unit largely squandered. 

Speaking of squandering, the Glade Guard were in hindsight also misused. The missile support they were there to provide turned out to be of very limited use - even Elves struggle to hit targets sheltering behind a castle rampart, and that's before you get to the challenge of actually hurting tough heavily armoured Dwarfs with arrows when you finally do hit one. They would have probably been better served with ladders acting as an immediate follow-on echelon for the combat skirmishers, shooting opportunistically on the way in and then scaling the walls after the combat skirmishers clear them to make better use of the troop mass that's probably their real value in a siege. 

Similarly, I also wonder about the Warhawk Riders. While slamming them straight into the nearest cannon was most definitely a mistake, I can't help but wonder if instead of my original plan of sending them in alongside a Wardancer unit they might have been better off using their flying movement to bypass the walls entirely and intercept the courtyard Warriors. It would have certainly meant the destruction of the Warhawk Riders themselves, but the sacrifice could very well have slowed the Warriors enough for me to get both units of Wardancers up the castle walls uncontested, and that alone might have made a big difference despite the wonky deployment. 

The Dryads, on the other hand, did very well. They may not have inflicted a single casualty the entire game, but they did an admirable job at tying up the Dwarfs on the rear wall and preventing them from moving over to more important sectors. 

Finally, I could have probably made better use of my magic throughout the game. While the one-two combination of Ariel's Blessing and Call of The Hunt was serviceable enough, there were a number of missed opportunities to make use of other spells. Fury of The Forest in particular could have been just about the only realistic way of giving the cannons any grief in hindsight, and while I never rolled them in the first place I can see some value in a well-timed Twilight Host to level the playing field when assaulting the walls or even frighten defenders away from the ramparts entirely, to say nothing of bypassing walls and gates entirely with The Hidden Path. It seems that I've spent so much time thinking about what to do when I fail to cast a single spell the entire game that I never really stopped to think about what to do if I actually do manage to cast spells. 


Still, I think I'm getting a pretty good grasp at the art of siege. Next time the Dwarfs won't be so lucky! 


The Dwarfs had held fast and prevailed against every attack and stratagem the Wood Elves could devise against them. In the small hours before dawn, after a full night of fierce fighting, the Wishmaster of The Meadows of Heaven called a retreat. The Asrai gathered their dead and wounded and vanished into the wilderness, leaving no sign of their presence save for those Elves still left on the battlements and a great jagged crack rent in the castle's gates, for which the battle would later take its name. 

The aftermath of the battle would see a change in fortunes for the Folk of The Fell Cellar. Lord Roland, when hearing of the news, was so impressed by the tenacious defence of the Dwarfs that he permitted them to settle in some rocky foothills on the frontiers of his domain, giving them their first permanent home in a great many years. 

The outcome of the battle also forced the Wood Elves to treat them as a serious power in their own right, and the very following Spring the Meadows of Heaven signed a treaty of non-aggression with the Folk of the Fell Cellar, enforced by Elf hostages captured by the Dwarfs from the survivors of the fighting on the castle ramparts. 

The Meadows of Heaven left the battle surprisingly intact for such a hard-fought engagement. While many of the regiments of elite troops that took part in the expedition were decimated, most of the expedition's core warrior kinbands and virtually all of the expedition's leadership were left largely unscathed, and would allow the Wood Elf realm to remain secure throughout the rest of the winter while they rebuilt their forces. Nonetheless the battle was seen as a sobering defeat for the Meadows of Heaven and resulted in a series of reforms in how that realm approached future sieges. 


A brazen furious blast of thunder scattered the scream of the wind and split the black blanket of cloud overhead with a searing gash of lightning that left the world in darkness as suddenly as it arrived. Below the land was a sea of cold deep blue midnight strewn with lonely islands of timidly glowing fires - the only constant source of illumination now, for the moon and stars had long since turned their gaze away from such unbearable bloodshed. 

It was in this deep blue darkness that Aneaeth Ollissin now worked, gliding across blood-speckled snow from body to body as she fought to undo as much as she could of the devastation before the castle gatehouse. Around her were the survivors of her escorting detachment of Summer Lightning Glade Guard, as much handmaidens and assistants as they were protectors, helping to triage and tend to the wounded Asrai that littered the snow and move them to safety, while a few stood watch in a perimeter around the way to the gate. Coolly glowing Spites wove among their feet as they scampered around the carnage to lift away arrows and fallen weapons, hold together wounds or pluck the golden leaves and loose jewels off the bodies of elves that could not be saved. 

Through the gloom Aneaeth's keen ears could spy the harsh vulgar cheers and curses of the Dwarfs on the castle's battlements somewhere far above. 

At once two of the sentries parted smoothly before the purposeful shape of the Wishmaster, his armour glinting in the twilight as he sent off and took in the messenger owls that swooped to and from from his shoulders. 

"In case word has not yet reached you," said The Wishmaster as he stopped before Aneaeth, "We are leaving this place. This battle is over. What is the state of our casualties here?" 

"Our dead are fewer than I had feared," Aneaeth replied, "Though we have suffered grievously here and have many, many wounded. It will take much time for even my magic to mend their injuries fully, and I fear for our warriors on the ramparts." 

The Wishmaster cast a glance upwards towards the distant top of the castle. "I would not worry for them just yet," he said, "This Dwarf king is evidently no fool, he will recognise the value in keeping alive any survivors. In the meantime, focus on the task at hand here. Is our remaining stock of healing potions sufficient?" 

"I'm not sure. For the moment we may have just enough, but it will still take time to-" 

The Wishmaster cut Aneaeth off with a modest gesture. "Our losses at the rear of the castle are not as bad as here, spare none of our reserve potions here if you must and we can bring more from there. What we do not have is time, it has already been some moments since the last gun blasts and I am not willing to find out exactly how much longer this lull will last for. Ration out the healing potions to get our wounded movable as quickly as possible, just enough to get them to safety. Once we are away from this place we can administer to them more fully." 

"Of course Wishmaster," Aneaeth replied, "Roland will not be pleased at this attack on one of his castles you know." 

The Wishmaster nodded. "Roland cares much for the prosperity of his people and appreciates wealth as much as any Keigh-mon. We will pour our treasury and empty our wine cellars into his keep until his outrage is tempered." 

"And the dwarfs?" 

"They have fought well. The window for dealing with them by the spear and the bodkin has passed. We must now look to our other tools and weapons. I shall begin preparations to negotiate a settlement with them upon our return to Athel Loren. Now save these wounded, we have lost far too many this night already." 

With that The Wishmaster turned and strode away into the darkness. Aneaeth still grieved for the elves lost this night, though it gladdened her to see her friend returning to his former self again once more.








Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Lunar Interlude

Classichammer is fucking awesome 
You want a Dwarf army? 


There's your fucking Dwarf army 

You want some newer models? 

Fuck you 

Dwarves can do lots of stuff like enchant artillery pieces. Can you enchant an artillery piece? 

Fuck no 

Play Classichammer


In case you aren't the most internet-savvy, the above is of course a parody of the famous advertisement for popular indie-game Dwarf Fortress (and Classichammer is apparently the name for playing Warhammer Fantasy with 6th - early 8th edition rules like I do). 

I've actually been kind of fond of the Dwarves ever since reading about them in the first White Dwarf issue I ever owned (it was covering the big Dwarf release that happened towards the end of 6th edition I believe, though it may have been 7th by then). They're actually my third favourite 'good' Warhammer Fantasy faction after Wood Elves and Bretonnia, and were one of the factions that were almost my first Warhammer Fantasy army (it came down to them, Bretonnia and Wood Elves, before a combination of falling in love with symphonic metal - specifically Nightwish - and the enormous fun I had playing as a Demon Hunter in Diablo 3 swung things in favour of the Wood Elves). I had planned to build a very large Dwarf army at some point in the future (along with Bretonnians, Beastmen, Vampire Counts, The Empire and, well, pretty much every faction except Warriors of Chaos and Ogres), but then GW brought out the ET series and promptly decided to stop selling Warhammer Fantasy models and my dream of owning gigantic armies for almost every Warhammer Fantasy faction died in agony. 

A while ago however I stumbled upon the above Dwarf battalion set in an out-of-the-way hobby store not too far from where I live, and decided it was too good an opportunity to pass up. I've worked out that if I can somehow find a second Dwarf battalion set, two boxes of warriors and some characters I should be able to put together a modest Dwarf army to act as an opposing force for my Wood Elves and Bretonnians (oh I'll also probably need an army book for it too. And any other extras I can scavenege along the way). And so I patiently waited until the anniversary of my existence that happened a month ago, which left me with a pile of cash to burn. After weighing up my options (the alternatives were either getting an Immolator or two off ebay, some Eldar ships for Battlefleet Gothic, or some Sisters of Battle characters), I decided that getting the battalion set and the other stuff below would give me the most bang for my buck. It's definitely a lot bulkier than the other battalion sets I've handled - with almost a third more volume than the Wood Elf and Bretonnian ones - and indeed when I first saw it I thought it was more than just a battalion set. Despite containing roughly the same value as the other ones (approximately three unit boxes and one small box worth of models), it's also very densely packed with quite a few bits, although most of them are weapon options and the sprues feel comparatively light on fun little doodads and extras, although it occurs to me that I may just be spoiled from the Bretonnian kits. 

As well as getting the batalion set, I also raided the online retailers and ordered up this healthy pile of old GW publications. 


Which includes the second version of the 3rd edition Chaos Space Marines codex, the Eye of Terror campaign supplement, Cityfight, and a bunch of White Dwarfs. 


If you collect Chaos Space Marines or experienced the early 2000s 'Silver Age' of Games Workshop, then this book needs no introduction. The second of two Chaos Space Marine codexes published for 3rd edition Warhammer 40,000, the 3.5 edition Codex Chaos Space Marines is considered by many to be one of the high points of Chaos rulesets, second only to the original Realm of Chaos books and the 2nd edition Chaos codex in the number of options, character and fun it provided. It's also infamous for its variant army lists, which included some insanely powerful options for armies (at the time at least. In an age of Unbound armies, superheavy units and S10 and D strength templates flying around they seem almost quaint now). 

I was a little worried about ordering this one, since it's condition was listed as only 'very good', but initial skimmings have shown it to be in remarkably good shape. I was however slightly underwhelmed by the armoury section. Much like the 2nd edition Sisters of Battle codex, after hearing about it for so long on the Internet I was expecting it to have a colossal armoury section spanning dozens of pages and covering every sort of wargear imaginable, but the actual 'wargear' section of the armoury is surprisingly small and is lacking a few things one might expect (the absence of an Auspex, for example, is particularly conspicuous), with the real options instead being found in the Daemonic Gifts and Veteran Skills (which themselves aren't as numerous as I thought they would be, but then I suppose there weren't as many Universal Special Rules floating around back then) sections, as well as the God-Specific items. Somewhat ironically for a book that's so rules-heavy, I think this is the only 3.5 edition era codex I have encountered so far that does not feature a special scenario somewhere in it, which I find strange the more I think about it. I suppose White Dwarf must have had that covered too?

I do worry about this book though. Whenever I look at it it's like... I can hear... voices... whispering to me in my head... saying that Gav Thorpe is a treacherous monster and that GW hates Chaos Space Marines and only takes away the things that make them interesting to give them to Loyalist Space Marines instead, and that Chaos Space Marines have been ruined since 4th edition.. 


A close relative of the 3.5 edition Chaos Codex, Codex: Eye of Terror was a campaign supplement published to introduce people to the famous Eye of Terror worldwide campaign in 2003. I remember seeing it and the Codex: Craftworld Eldar expansion in GW stores when I was a kid (way back in the glory days when they played metal music in the background and had artwork posted up on the walls. Also when model boxes had actual artwork on them... sometimes...) and wondering why they existed, since my childhood logic concluded that anything contained within them must surely be in the Chaos Space Marine and Eldar codexes respectively. It's about as thin as I remember it, although it doesn't have quite as much content as I was expecting (but then that's only to be expected given its length and nature as an introductory booklet). 

The main reason why I wanted it of course was for the legendary Lost And The Damned army list that allowed for armies of Traitor Guard, mutant hordes and pretty much anything Chaos-aligned that isn't a Daemon or Space Marine of some kind. It wasn't... quite what I was expecting, essentially being a list of things you could take from the Chaos Space Marine and Imperial Guard codexes plus a couple of entries for things not covered by either of those books (like the mutants). In hindsight I'm not really sure what I was expecting from it to be perfectly honest, since from what I gather it was only really ever meant to be a way to port over Imperial Guard units into Chaos armies. I guess an armoury section would have been nice, but really most of that would inevitably just be repeating stuff that's already in the other two army lists, and they had to cram in another three entire army lists as well, so I guess I can understand why there isn't one. The only real serious criticism I have about it is that there's no option for a normal human HQ choice - All the HQ options available are from the Chaos Space Marine codex and so are all, well, Chaos Space Marines. Which is fine if you want an ambitious Chaos Space Marine champion rising to the top on a horde of mortal Chaos followers and mutant monstrosities, but if you want a Lost and The Damned army without any Chaos Space Marines at all in it - like I do - then you're fresh out of luck. I know Chaos Space Marines are supposed to be the favoured champions of the Chaos Gods and so on, and that it is based on a campaign about one of Abaddon's black crusades, but Chaos Space Marine-free Chaos armies do exist too, and would it have really been too hard to add in one little entry for a mortal champion or a rouge psyker or something, or a quick "Traitor Command (use Command Squad rules from Codex: Imperial Guard)" to the list of units you can take? Really?

Fortunately the Adversaries options in the Witchhunters codex provides exactly that - options for regular human Chaos followers - but it has this stupid thing where it says you're not allowed to use them against armies that aren't Witchhunters, and it still feels like an excessive number of hoops to jump through. 

There are also three other lists, for the 13th Great Company of Space Wolves (with the glorious metal Wulfen models of old), the Cadian Shock Troops and Eldar from Ulthwe. They're about what you would expect, with the only really odd thing is the Cadian army list including the options for some Internal Guard units. What's weird about that is that the Internal Guard is charged with eliminating subversive cults on Cadia but is formed from the Ordo Malleus and uses Daemonhunters rules, when rooting out subversive cults is usually the Ordo Hereticus's job. Using Daemonhunters rules is kind of understandable, since the whole campaign happened a year before the Witchhunters codex existed, but actually stating it's an Ordo Malleus outfit and not a Hereticus one in the background struck me as.. off. 

Aside from all that, there's some top notch artwork as well. Some is from other places (I recognised one piece from Battlefleet Gothic), others seem to have been included for the first time here. 


Cityfight was another publication I noticed when I was younger, but never really thought much of it. Rather than seeing it in a store, I first happened upon it on the old GW website, where I looked through the little articles and things in its section, noticed a distinct lack of Tau-related content and promptly dismissed it as not worthwhile (during this time I generally tended to avoid any 40k-related material that did not pertain to the Tau in some way, mostly out of childhood fanaticism for my chosen faction, but also because my time and resources for tabletop hobby were even more limited than they are now, and the army I was building was Tau, so they took priority and everything else just sort of fell by the wayside). I did however get its 4th edition descendent Cities of Death, and certainly found a lot to like in that, so after seeing a few tidbits online and reading the designers' notes for it in White Dwarf #261 I thought it perhaps warranted closer inspection. 

There's a lot of artwork in here that I recognise from Cities of Death (though it seems that one of my favourite illustrations in Cities of Death - a black and white piece showing a Battle Sister blasting away with a boltgun from a window while enemy fire pitter-patters off the walls around her - was original to that one and not first included here). This book has a more extensive colour section than Cities of Death, including a detailed blow-by-blow battle report (the same one used to showcase Cityfight in White Dwarf #261 in fact). Its focus is different however, with less attention being given to customising armies for urban combat and more given to building appropriate terrain, which makes sense given that this was before GW put out much in the way of urban terrain (Forgeworld, however, had a beautiful Cityfight range, which is mentioned in the book. It still tears me apart knowing that those terrain pieces will never be sold again). 

There's also some interesting stuff on the mechanics front, especially in the armoury section. Some elements from there would go on to feature in Cities of Death, but many don't. Comparing the two is interesting, with some common items changing between the two (booby traps and combat engineering equipment), and both books having some very brutal tricks in them. Cityfight's sentry guns seem pretty hardcore... 

Cityfight also includes a short list of modifications for codexes. Most of these are rules clarifications over what counts as what for the purposes of cityfight rules interactions, but some of them are extra army list options. The list feels incomplete to me - once again, the Tau are conspicuous in their absence, although this is to be expected as the book was released before the Tau properly existed in 40k, as did the fully-fledged Necrons that also seem strangely missing (and both could probably do with a few clarifications on how certain weapons and wargear interacts with the Cityfight rules). What's far less forgivable is the total absence of any mention of the Sisters of Battle, which most certainly existed at the time the book was published. Granted, at that point they were still confined to a Chapter Approved army list, but you'd think they'd warrant an entry with all their template weapons and whether or not it's possible to give Immolators siege armour, and maybe some amendments in the Cityfight armoury to give them things like, say, multi-melta armed sentry guns or incendiary mines that you would expect them to have. 


White Dwarf #263 completes the holy trinity of White Dwarf magazines that covered the first ever Tau release, ever. Interestingly, this is the first 'old' White Dwarf I've gotten that's in pristine condition - not just excellent or near mint, but literally brand new and seemingly never before touched. As a pleasantly unexpected surprise it also included a pair of supplementary catalogues. I have never seen any examples of them before (though I dimly recall seeing TROLL mentioned somewhere once), anywhere, which suggests that they weren't readily available in the stores, or if they were that I never noticed them once. These two booklets, along with the sealed packaging it came in still having a delivery address that was not mine on it (according to it this issue hails from Miami, the land of Michael Westen) leads me to believe that this was a subscription issue that the receiver for some reason never opened before trading it away. 

It has the usual goodly articles that a White Dwarf of its vintage has, but the real prize for me - and why I wanted it - is the Tau background it contains, especially an article about Vior'la that I don't believe has ever been published anywhere else. There's also the famous guide to Battlesuit configurations, from which many iconic Crisis Team loadouts get their name (If you've ever heard a Tau player call a Crisis Suit with a plasma rifle and a missile pod a Fireknife, this article is where that came from) and which was later published online, and can still be found in Advanced Tau Tactica's official background archive (or on the old GW website through the Wayback Machine). Strangely, it's billed as a tactics article in the contents, but is written purely from a background lore standpoint with zero discussion given over to in-game performance or utility. 


White Dwarf #251 may seem like an odd choice at first, but I put it high on my to-buy list for one very important feature, namely the old 40k Vehicle Design Rules. I've heard a lot about these on the Internet, and so- 

Wait... something's wrong... it's not here... it ISN'T HERE!! Minions!! You PROMISED me you had found it! You SWORE that it would be here, in this issue! Explain to me why it isn't in here! You have FAILED ME!! Why you MISERABLE PATHETIC INCOMPETENT EXCUSES FOR HENCHMEN!! WHY YOU WRETCHED INSUFFERABLE MEWLING GROTESQUE FEEBLE SACS OF PUTRESCENT IMPOTENCE!! Better a Hedgehog for a minion, better a Tumbleweed! You will SUFFER DEARLY FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION!! HEADS WILL ROLL!! I WILL HAVE THE BONES RENT FROM YOUR WORTHLESS BODIES!! I WILL SEE YOU FLENSED WITH SEARING SCOURGES UNTIL YOUR FLESH IS STRIPPED AND RAW!! I WILL SEE YOU BURN IN FIRE AND BOILING OIL!! YOU WILL BLEED FOR FORGIVENESS!! YOU WILL TWIST AND WRITHE AND SCREAM IN PUS-SOAKED BRIMSTONE-SMOULDERING AGONY!! FIND ME THAT WHICH I SEEK!! I WILL BRING HEAVEN AND EARTH CRASHING DOWN IN FLAMES IF I MUST!! I WILL TEAR APART THE ENDS OF THE WORLD!! I WILL RAIN FIRE AND LIGHTNING AND BURNING HAIL DOWN UPON THE LANDS OF MEN!! NONE SHALL BE SPARED MY WRATH UNTIL IT IS MINE!! 

Ahem. The Vehicle Design rules are indeed in this issue, but not all of them. It seems that they must have been revisited at some point, as several elements I have seen in places online are not included, in particular options for designing Tau vehicles. In hindsight it should have been obvious to me that I wouldn't find that in there, since this issue predates the introduction of the Tau by some time, and indeed it quickly dawned on me that was the case when I suddenly encountered the nasty paradox of how rules for a faction could be featured in a publication that was released almost a year before they existed. This threatened to create a universe destroying temporal singularity rift, but fortunately I was able to preserve the fabric of reality at the cost of having all knowledge of how to perform long division erased from my mind for all eternity. You carry the one over, don't you? 

It's not a total loss though. The basic design rules are all there (including a plug for Forgeworld's brand new book Imperial Armour. The very first one they ever published. No, not Imperial Armour Volume 1, the one BEFORE that one), and there's some other useful stuff too, particularly rules for most if not all of the Regiments of Renown in Warhammer Fantasy, as well as a sneak preview for the amazing brand-new Tyranid line coming soon for Warhammer 40,000 (the 3rd edition release in case you were wondering) that I found amusingly quaint and a Lord of the Rings poster still lodged in the middle of the magazine. 


White Dwarf #292 and #293 appear to be the main two issues that covered the 2004 Witchhunters release, and so I added them to the list as well. I walked away feeling like there was surprisingly little coverage given to it in #292, the main Witchhunters-related content was buried towards the back just before the Lord of the Rings section along with the other 40k related articles (in contrast #262 had almost all the Tau-related stuff front and centre). It also lacked a Designers' Notes article and inaugural battle report, which I found equally surprising, but on the other hand it seems to have a healthy chunk of background material I don't recognise (which means it's likely I haven't seen it before) and - in a totally unexpected but wholeheartedly welcome surprise - rules for using Frateris Militia, or Zealots as they're called in it, in 3rd+ edition alongside the Witchhunters codex. Looking at the new releases listed in it and the following issue (most notably neither list features the actual Witchhunters Codex itself) leads me to suspect that there was a third issue given to covering the Witchhunters release, and that I probably want either #294 or (much more likely) #291 as well. 

#293 begins with a brief look at upcoming digital developments, including some obscure unremarkable Real Time Strategy computer game for 40k called Dawn of War. Pfft, nothing to see there, it's only a matter of time before it falls off the public radar and is forgotten like all the other Warhammer computer games. It will never amount to anything. This issue features a tactics article for Witchhunters armies, which is why I got it, as well as a background article with examples of Witchhunters characters and enemies (both this and the tactics article were also featured online) and some painting/modelling articles on Immolators and Penitent engines and a phenomenal First World War inspired Imperial Guard army. The rest of the issue is almost completely given over to covering Storm of Chaos, a Warhammer Fantasy global campaign that I have every confidence and utmost faith will be immortalised as an immutable part of Warhammer Fantasy canon and history for the rest of time, and can only be building towards an incredible breathtakingly epic climax that will be forever loved by Warhammer enthusiasts the world over. 


White Dwarf #212 represents a historic landmark as the first White Dwarf issue of the 1990s era that I now own. Adding to what is quickly becoming a recurring trend, I was somewhat underwhelmed by it. Much like the 2nd edition Sisters of Battle codex (the release of which this issue covered), I had always found the 1990s iteration of White Dwarf to be hyped up as some mythical golden age of content that was vastly superior to all that came after it, and for something with that kind of reputation, I didn't feel like it had that much content. Don't get me wrong, it has plenty of good content, I just don't get the impression that it has considerably more of it than, say, one of the 2001 vintage White Dwarf issues. Most damming is that there's no designers' insights on the Sisters of Battle models or codex or additional background for them that I was expecting to find in it (though it does feature what looks like some interesting special scenarios themed around them, I will give it that). There's also a big section on GorkaMorka (also a new release then) and a bunch of other interesting bits and bobs. There's also supposed to be a cardboard scenery piece included as well, but unlike #263 above whoever first owned this copy DID look through it, and so that little freebie is now long gone. Not that it bothers me that much, I wanted it for the articles. 


Finally there's White Dwarf issues #307 and #308, the main two that covered the 6th edition Wood Elf release (hallowed be thy name). There's what you would expect them to include - designers' notes, painting guides (which much like the assembly guides for Tau ships included in Battlefleet Gothic Magazine #17 would have been nice to know when I was trying to work out how to replicate the studio scheme!) and a couple of battle reports, one of them having the Wood Elves led by an almost-unrecognisable Mat Ward. There are some other interesting bits as well, like the rules for a Regiment of Renown of Amazons for Warhammer Fantasy and a delightfully bizarre Mechanicus army showcase (which has left me desperate for any information revolving around the so-called Phi-Alpha 2 Neutrino Irradiators) and a teaser for the first expansion pack for that Dawn of War computer game from awhile back. How odd, I was certain it was going to crash and burn, and that the Storm of Chaos ending was going to be grand and satisfying! How is it that the impossible is happening? Why next thing you know the Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game's runaway popularity will die out after the third movie's run is finished, and they'll take away the Specialist Games! Totally unthinkable! 

Actually, speaking of unthinkable things, there are two things I found utterly hilarious in these issues. The first was a quick sentence in the Wood Elf painting guide warning not to put too much detail on a model so that it doesn't look cluttered, and the second was an article recommending counts-as proxies. Needless to say the idea of showing restraint from excessive model detail and advocating creating your own models to stand in for other units both seem absurdly ironic given GW's recent trends... 

And that's about it. Now to enjoy the wonders of outer space some more.